I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
