And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Randomize
