Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
operation harelip BJ is a go
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
