If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
