im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
