You're a womanizer and a bitch.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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