So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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