So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Randomize
