So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
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