oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
