i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
