in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
