if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
