She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
