In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
