the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
