She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
