I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
PANTIES FOUND
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
