How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
