do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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