Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
