Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
