Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
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