He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
My vagina just recognized that song.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
