He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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