Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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