Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
