You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
