There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
