I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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