dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
