Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Randomize
