I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
