dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
