GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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