You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
