Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize