are you so shy because you have an std?
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize
