According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Randomize
