well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
