Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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