But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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