my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
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