Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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