we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize
