you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
