she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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