i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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