He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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