His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
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The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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