if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
