Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
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i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...