he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
