He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
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