Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
