you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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