I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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