I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
im on a boat
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