Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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