Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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