he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
