IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
