Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
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