Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
